This is the story of two people who are the most near and dear to my heart…
I met Jay and Amy about 25 years ago. They were a young couple just getting married and they were excited about life. After a beautiful outdoor wedding on Amy's family farm,
they started their life in a little home in Dunnville. This home was super cute and although it had once been condemned, Jay and Amy turned that little house into a home.
With its wrap-around porch and three bay separate garage, it was the perfect starter home.
Amy worked in Burlington, at a lumber yard, and Jay worked at a construction company, putting in underground utilities. One evening, Amy thought it might be a good idea to make a
budget. They wrote down all their income, and then added their expenses. By the end of the exercise, their 'budget' showed a shortfall of $300.
But, since thus far things had been working out ok and life was good, and as this was just a fun little exercise, they crumpled up the paper and tossed it away never to look at
it again. Nothing changed. They continued to live as they were, not extravagantly, but without a plan.
About two years later, Amy quit working at the lumber yard, as they were getting ready to welcome their first son. They enjoyed the first two years with their little guy.
Amy went back to work and hired a dear friend to babysit the little man. But driving back and forth to Burlington was taking its toll on the three of them.
Jay was still employed by the same company he had been at for over ten years, yet there were rumblings of a big change happening. Jay and Amy decided to list their super-cute
home on the market and try and make a move closer to work.
The house now on the market, local agents came through and loved the place. Amy's dad held the listing to try help them with the sale and lower the cost of moving for them,
but he was from out of town. And so the house sat on the market. In the meantime, Jay and Amy went and looked at a house in Binbrook, and with encouragement from a couple of
'professionals' they firmed up on an offer. And still the cute little house sat on the market…
Amy ended up in the hospital at this time and they welcomed their second son into the world. They now had two super cute little boys and two homes, and one income with a
company that was floundering.
Finally, the day came when they settled for an offer and said good-bye to their first little home. As they moved into their new home, full of excitement and worry,
they started feeling stress set in and around their shoulders. They were living in a house that they couldn't really afford, because they didn't get enough for the
little place they left. In addition, Amy's brother had came on title with them to help them out, and now that Jay and Amy were settled into the new place
he was hoping to clear his name from the title in order for his business to invest elsewhere. So, Jay and Amy went back to lawyers to release his name, and more expenses were
incurred with the lawyers and with land transfer tax.
Things were tight. Stress was rising, but they continued to do the best they could with the information they had. Nine months later, they sold that house and bought a little house
in town in Caledonia: a new home just over the bridge that didn't need as much work done. Jay started a new job now working for Amy's dad in a brand new underground
utilities company. Amy was at home caring for their now three little boys. And then things went sideways. Amy found out she had a brain tumor. She needed surgery.
Jay and the three little boys moved in with her parents while Amy had her surgery and recuperated. Still living on one income, but with family and friends close by,
they made it work. Slowly but surely the credit cards started increasing. They took fun little camping trips with the boys and enjoyed life.
But when it came time to pick up a few groceries, Amy would stress about whether or not the debit-card would work. She would stand there in the grocery store
frantically calling the bank to transfer money from one overdrawn account to another just so that the transaction would go through.
They bought a little dog, because 'every boy needs a dog', and they went to Ohio to pick it up. While there, Jay and Amy fell in love with the rolling hills and
simple life of the farm lands. With a lot of discussion about raising the boys in the country, they set their hearts to moving to the country. Once again a for sale sign
appeared on their front lawn, but this time it already included a sold sign. They had found a country property and the owners of that property wanted their house in Caledonia!
So, they traded homes. Life in the country was great, but money was scarce. Amy started working in a MLM company and was very successful immediately.
But with that success came a much bigger credit card bill, as she was now travelling to Vegas for conferences and trips, and buying the products to look the part.
They planted a garden in the country, and spent a lot of money buying topsoil and seeds and fruit trees in order to save money. The mortgage payments were one of
the smaller bills they had, so Amy consolidated their monthly payments and cleaned up the outstanding debts.
Life went on. Jay and Amy went on a trip with a group of friends who go all the time. The vacation was lovely and they enjoyed every moment. But that vacation followed
them home on a credit card, and with no extra funds to throw at it, that credit card balance continued to grow. Amy took a job driving a school bus, and with the three boys
in tow, she was bringing in an extra income. With that income, Amy was able to buy a few things for the boys. They finally got some new shoes, not hand-me-downs again.
But time was ticking, and the boys were getting older. Along came another dog and more dog food and vet bills. But along came some puppies as well! Life in the country
was fun and the boys enjoyed every bit of it. And life got super exciting as they welcomed an unexpected little bundle of pink love. The boys had a brand-new little sister
and they couldn't have been more thrilled!
Jay was still working for family at the time and things were getting a little tense. It was time to move on. So up went the For Sale sign and they got ready to move again.
Maybe this time they could make some money on the property and clear up all the reaccumulated debt...but where do you find cheaper housing? Off to London they went,
where they bought a gorgeous home in a sought-after neighborhood. Sure, the house needed work, but it had so much potential. Jay took a new job in a new city and things
seemed very promising.
September rolled around and their oldest son started high school in the new city. What Jay and Amy forgot to include in their mental calculations through all the moves,
was the cost of the real estate agents, the lawyers and the land transfer tax, plus all the increases in the utilities with each change over, and now the cost of tuition.
Long ago, Jay and Amy had decided that they wanted their kids to grow and learn in a Christian environment, and now as their son started high school, that tuition was higher
than they thought! Each month, that tuition payment found its way onto a line of credit. Amy began working at a retail store. With her amazing employee discount,
Amy came home with a new table cloth, new Christmas décor, new socks, new table top displays, new shirts, new pants, new dishes, new water bottles and new sporting goods.
It had been so long since she could splurge on new items, and after all, she got a discount. And the credit card balances increased...
That first year in the new city meant big changes for their family. Their one son struggled with the changes more than the others to the point that he needed some help.
Amy invoked the help of a counselor. And so the credit card balance increased again. But they needed to help their little guy, and no price would stand in the way of
getting him the help he needed.
Year two came and suddenly the work dried up. With kids in elementary and high school, Amy went to work cleaning homes. She worked five days a week and brought in a good
amount of funds. They booked a trip to Myrtle Beach, and enjoyed a great time away with the kids and close friends. Each spring at tax time, Amy would use the tax return to
catch up on people they owed money to and book a vacation before it would get sucked up into the dark, black vortex of debt.
Each week when pay-day came, Amy would quickly set off for the grocery store in order to get groceries into the house for the family before the mortgage would come out,
or other bills would come through.
If Jay had a rain day at work, he would call Amy to find out if there was money somewhere so he could go for coffee with the boys. Amy would scramble and transfer money from one
account to another, just so he could have $7 dollars to buy coffee and breakfast.
The boys were great for being willing to buy any 'extra' clothes that they wanted, and even bought some of their own uniform outfits for school. Yet Jay and Amy still
bought wine on the weekends and had beer in the fridge in case friends showed up.
The pressure was mounting. Amy was the one in charge of all the day-to-day running of the house, and she had no idea where to turn to for help for their finances.
The credit cards were maxed, they owed a friend about $7k, they owed money to Amy's grandmother for an old van, they had just remortgaged, their line of credit that was
paying the schools was as high as it could go and Amy was bearing the brunt of the stress. Life was tense at home. Jay was working as hard as he could with the
circumstances that he had, and was feeling emasculated. What more could he do? How many more hours did he need to put in to make ends meet? But no one talked about it.
They just poured another drink...
A post online by a local church about a class on money management piqued Amy's interest. She signed up for the class, but was told that the class was full and that they
would be put on the waiting list. The day that the classes were to start, Amy got a call from the coordinator that a couple had dropped out and that the class was available,
but only if Jay was able to go along as well. They went that evening and were astounded by the common-sense management of money that they had simply not ever learned.
Over the years, bankers, lawyers and real estate agents had fed them various lies about money, credit scores, credit cards and lines of credits. Jay and Amy had to
unlearn and relearn a lot of things.
Over the next month, Jay and Amy saved up $1k for an emergency fund. They had never had that kind of money ever just sitting there! They sold things, helped neighbors and scrimped
and saved and put that $1k safely away for an emergency. That month they also got started writing up a monthly budget plan and learning that every single dollar gets a name.
Over the next two years Amy and Jay maintained their written budget, paid of over $48K in debt, and started talking together. They started having conversations about what life
would look like again when there was no debt hanging over their heads. They worked together to maintain the finances. They took extra jobs and they spurred each other on
to stay intentional with their finances.
They started putting money aside for a new vehicle to replace that old van, and they started saving and investing. Now they could enjoy dinners
out with no regrets and no guilt, enjoy paid-for-in-advance vacations at a cottage, and were able to pay for tuition without it going on the line of credit.
For Jay and Amy, they could actually look forward to their sons' upcoming weddings and them help out financially. And amazingly, they can now work towards retiring with dignity!
Jay and Amy have learned through all this that it's much better to be living below their means and then be able to be more generous to those around them. They enjoy having people
over, feeding friends and neighbors, and offering hope to others who struggle. They learned a very valuable lesson in humility, and that having
money vs. looking like they have money are two very different things with two very different outcomes in how they treat others with
respect and dignity.
Jay and Amy have an incredible future together. Not only is their marriage much stronger because their communication is a whole lot better, but they're on the same page when
it comes to their future: their goals, plans, vacations, and dreams.
I am so very grateful to have been able to meet Jay and Amy, and my hope and prayer is that I will be able to help many more people learn the art of conscious spending and
saving and open their eyes to the beautiful world around them; to help them lift their heads from under the burden and heavy weight of debt, regret and shame and have them
see the future that is in store for them, with no regrets, living in abundance and being generous to a fault.
That couple is John and me. This is our story. I can't wait to hear your story. The beginning, the middle and the exciting end. I can't wait to see how many lives will be
blessed by all of our stories.
Let's link arms and get busy writing your story.
